Pick up someone your own size

I decided against pursuing that girl Becky. She is too young for me and I realized that I am only going to end up getting hurt and frustrated by chasing a younger girl. I mean really... what am I doing messing around with some girl that is still in the stage where she doesn't know what she wants. I realize over the holidays that I need to be going after women. That is just it, women and not girls. I am too old to be hooking up with girls anymore. I need to find myself some real women that are more on my level.

I am not a big fan of xmas and new years eve etc. I guess that is because the last few years I didn't really enjoy myself or the time I was spending with my exgirlfriend. Yes she dumped me, but I wasn't really that happy either. I was kind of hoping that she was going to dump me but I only realized that recently. When she first left I was really pissed off and sad and upset but now I am happy that she left and give me another chance to do something else with my life I wouldn't have otherwise had the chance to do. Now I look up at the stars like I did as a kid and think about all the possibilities that life holds for me. I pretty much stopped thinking like this in my early twenties and my attitude became - well this is what you have so you need to be happy about and not think about other stuff to do. I think that is what being with a partner does to you.

I feel like having a drink right now. I am going to go pour a big glass of vodka. Back. I don't know why writing this shit makes me so emotional. I guess the scars are still fresh. There is some guy right now probably driving her down the same streets that I did. Anyways I need to focus on the fact that I have a new life and new women to talk to. I am going to sit here and sip this drink and start searching for women that are in my age bracket and more suited to making me happy if such a thing is even possible.